malfoypure:

"Draco! What are you doing you can’t just apparate into my room!" Hermione yelped as she caught his reflection in the mirror.

"Granger, you’re 22, surely your parents don’t still see you as that innocent," he drawled lazily, winking at her.

"I’d like to think they do so you’re going to apparate outside and knock on the door like a gentleman. I will not have my parents first meeting you appearing from my bedroom… what are you wearing?"

"I went to muggle London," he stated with a grin, looking much like a child who was rather proud of himself, "I thought since I was meeting muggles I should dress like one. The woman in the shop said I looked rather dashing."

Hermione bit back a smile at his childish pride. “Alright Mr Dashing, get outside and go ring the doorbell.”

"Right, okay," he said, suddenly looking rather nervous. "Granger… What’s a doorbell?

The Magic Begins
       
↳ 28: A ship you wish everyone else was into.




writingupsidedown:

 wanted sherlock in merlin’s clothes, so i put them both in each others clothes just because why not. they aren’t happy about it tho




destinysfetus:

pre-installed apps you don’t use and can’t delete 

image




sassymajesty:

"You were beautiful, m y   t i n y   c h i l d, wrapped tightly in my arms, close to my heart. I listened to you breathing. I counted your fingers and your toes. Helpless, you cried out to me and I loved you with every ounce of my soul.”




royalblackpirate:

congenitalprogramming:

pastel-gizibe:

AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAJAJAJAJJAHAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Pieces of shit.

So both Darren Wilson and Westboro got shaded by the KKK…how low do you have to be for the KKK to be like ‘woah now let’s be REASONABLE’

^^^^^^^

tagged as: ferguson;  random;  









woodmeat:

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

included in this order for a large ground beef is a dossier containing information on your target. he is to be neutralized before delivery. do not let him reach the airport. no pepperoni.







kittenfeathers:

sherlockfoundyourblogand:

Best one yet.

THIS IS PERFECTION 




But, like, why are Americans so obsessed with Canadian bagged milk? It’s kinda confusing. I mean, yeah, it’s not like that everywhere but, they used to sell fresh milk in bags around here, as well. You know, the milk you had to cook before drinking it? I don’t think anyone still sells it, though…




I’m dancing on my own, I make the moves up as I go




Tear gas

torisoulphoenix:

avoidgettingread:

Do not wear contact lenses if you are in a situation where you may be tear-gassed.  When I went through basic training, we were warned that there was a possibility the tear gas they were using could melt contact lenses.

BOOOOOOOOOOOST!!!!!!!!!!

tagged as: random;  tear gas;  






rangerkimmy:

sburbatory:

posyes:

i went to school with a pair of identical twins and one time one of them was like “i’m so hot, i’d fuck me” and he turned to wink suggestively at his brother who just batted his eyelashes and blew a kiss at him

image

I’m laughing because I’ve seen this post at least four times on my dash today and every single one had a different picture of the hitachiin twins


© JASONDILAURENTS